What's that sound, you ask? No, it's not from beans, the magical fruit. It's from my own horn. I'm tooting it.
Hank returns back from her 5 day business trip tonight and I have, once again, kept the child alive in her absence. Daisy is totally not dead, which is different from undead, which she is also not. I'm two for two!
Usually the hardest thing about Hank being gone is feeding Daisy. Hank is good with food. She can improvise a meal, macgyvering one out of whatever she finds in the kitchen, like, for example, cracker crumbs, orange peels, and dead skin cells. Voila! Breaded epidermis ala o'range. I don't have those cooking improvisational skills. So, the day before Hank left, I sat down and thought about every breakfast, lunch, and dinner I'd have to feed to the kid for the next 5 days, and I grocery shopped to that list.
(Note that I didn't set the bar very high for myself. Out of the 5 dinners I had to "make" on my list, one of them was "Go out to eat!" and another was "Order food to be delivered!". Hey, there's a reason people keep a phone in their kitchen. It's a kitchen tool as important as your lemon zesters or stoves.)
The end result was that the week went pretty damn smoothly. So, not only did you get to hear my toots, but what you didn't been hear all week was me complaining about taking care of Daisy in Hank's absence.
That being said, don't go away again, Hank.