Tuesday, August 28, 2007


I shaved the damn thing today. I feel human again. I let that beard fester on my face for 23 days. At the end of that time, it was still patchy in a couple of spots, and some parts of my face just completely rejected the concept of hair. The experiment was complete.

I shaved in the bathroom while Daisy was taking her bath. Much to her dismay though, I didn't capture the clippings as I went.

Daisy: PLEASE save the hairs for me! PLEEEEASE!
Me: No.
Daisy: Why not?
Me: Because it's gross. Just no.
Daisy: That's ok. I have a new idea! Want to hear it?
Me: You have terrible ideas.
Daisy: (laughing) I know! Want to hear it anyway?
Me: Oh, alright.
Daisy: Shave off all your hair! Go bald!!
Me: I knew this was going to be a terrible idea.
Daisy: Daddy! Do it!
Me: No way. At least with a beard, I knew I could remove it at any time. If I shave my head, I'm stuck with super short hair for a loooong time.
Daisy: Ok, grow your hair really long! Down to your butt!

I distracted her from this thought train by shaving off my beard in pieces, and documenting as I went. For your viewing pleasure, I present The Many Facial Hair Stylings of Mike aka How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love the Mutton Chop.

I cleaned up the sink after I was done, but a few hairs eluded me. I glanced at them, rolled my eyes, and said, "Daisy, there are a few hairs left in the sink. If you want them, they're yours."

She squealed like I had just told her we were flying to Disneyland on a plane made out of lollipops. She fetched a ziploc bag and now about half a dozen of my beard hairs live on her night table. Kids are weird.


2catsdesigns said...

Well, I guess I was in the minority, but I thought the facial fuzz suited you! :-)

Mike said...

Sue, I suspect it looked a little scragglier in the high-def experience of real life.

Pensive Turtle said...

You should've kept the pornstar moustache for a few weeks. Chicks dig dudes with big pornstar moustaches.

Mike said...

Yeah, but being married and having chicks constantly throw themselves at you is problematic. I shaved the 'stache to save my marriage.

mox said...

You were getting a little terrorist-y there for a sec.

Thanks for my chuckle today.

Mike said...

Mox, that's what my dad thought. He said I looked like I was about to embark upon a jihad and warned me against airline travel.

newnorth said...

the facial expressions were great.

Mike said...

Newnorth, thanks. I amused myself, which was the important part.

Sara said...

Has anyone ever told you that you have a face like Elasticman?

Especially the final clean cut Joker (like from Batman) one.

Mike said...

Hey! That final one is what I really look like!