Monday, June 11, 2007

An Open Letter to Everyone in the Universe

Dear Everyone,

I need a favor.

I don't subscribe to HBO. Although I like the show The Sopranos, I've been watching it for years by renting the DVDs. That's worked out pretty well for me... until today.

The series finale apparently aired last night. That means that I'll get to see it in maybe six months or so. Today began my six-month effort to block out all mentions of plot spoilers

Of course, every time I clicked over to a web page, I did so cautiously, wary of Sopranos spoilers. I could not believe what a large percentage of the internet was dedicated to ruining my belated viewing of the finale. News sites, blogs, and even gambling sites were filled with commentary about the final episode. QUIT IT, INTERNET!

Instant message windows have popped up on my screen asking what I thought of the final episode. In the shower, two separate radio presets (NPR and the local sports talk radio station) had a Sopranos update WITHIN 30 SECONDS OF EACH OTHER. Multiple sections of the newspaper have had articles about the Sopranos. Several conversations at a birthday party tonight centered on the finale.

For the last 48 hours, I've been frantically closing windows on my computer, changing stations on the radio, and singing "La la la la" during dangerous conversations, all in a desperate attempt to avoid finding out if Tony Soprano is dead, retired, or gay.

So, can I ask a favor? Would you all mind just sort of shutting up about the Sopranos for the next six months or maybe a year? Please?

Thanks.

Hugs,
Mike

10 comments:

The 4th Sister said...

Mike you should have watched it. We found out he was gay and then he died.

Pensive Turtle said...

But first he whacked Phil and had gay sex with his dead body. Then he ate him, and THEN he died.

Mike said...

GAH! I knew it! We have good gaydar here in SF.

The 4th Sister said...

Oh Pensive Turtle, You should not have given the whole plot away! Well at least you did not tell him that Phil was his dead Grandmother in another life! We have to save some surprises....Is there anyone else out that would like to give mike a little more information....

Neel Mehta said...

Oh, Mike. I don't watch The Sopranos, and even I know what happened.

No spoilers, but you're guaranteed to love how it ends. Everybody's just been talking about how satisfying it all was.

P.S. Carmela is bi.

Mike said...

Shhh! All of you!

David said...

Whatever, the fact that you have this post up in the first place shows that you are really happened. Well, I'll tell you. You see at the end, Tony

Mike said...

David, I don't even know what that means!

Neel Mehta said...

Despite the typo, David's comment is quite brilliant. You just have to understan

Mike said...

I can only assume it's a Sopranos reference. Great. Now my blog is even a spoiler.