Tuesday, March 06, 2007

This weekend I had Mexican food 3 times in 25 hours. That's about 4 times too many.

Mexican food has the same problem that Italian food does. It's almost always comprised of the same set of limited ingredients. You can remove a few of the ingredients, or maybe swap a sauce, but as the consumer, your primary option is to choose the shape.

You: What do you feel like having for dinner tonight?
Me: Good question. Hmmmm... I guess I'm in the mood for little tubes.
You: Ewww! That sounds horrible! I want something totally different tonight.
Me: Oh! I know! Big tubes!
You: Perfect! *mmmwwwwah*

(You, by the way, are an excellent kisser!)

With Italian food, you're mostly just picking the shape of the pasta. Do you want it in long skinny strips and covered with tomato sauce, or would you prefer pubic hair shaped curls covered with tomato sauce. It's a fantastic world of possibilities.

And with Mexican food, you know you're gonna get a bunch of crap (beans, meat, guacamole) crammed into a tortilla, and you get to choose how to fasten it. Wrapped up in a cylinder? Folded gently into a U shape? Open-ended tube? When they finally make a velcro tortilla, we will have reached the pinnacle of Mexican cuisine.

I know, I know, this is just my limited view of Mexican and Italian view based on blah blah blah. I'm sure real Mexicans in real Mexico are lauding my fried chicken recipe, sauteeing escargot, and perfecting their Bernaise sauce. Meanwhile, real Italians in real Italy are barbecuing ribs, pickling their herring, and enjoying a good stir fry. That may be all well and good, but if that's not what they're serving me in Mexican and Italian restaurants around here, then it doesn't count. You don't really expect me to travel outside my city to eat, do you?

Next time I going into that taqueria, I'm going to ask for some new shapes. Spheres, tetrahedrons, and maybe a Mobius Strip if I'm feeling saucy.

Until then, Just Say No To Shape Based Cuisine. Pass it on.


Tasty said...

No To Shape Based Cuisine!!! And thanks for noticing my madd kissing skillz!

Kat Campbell said...

Actually the Italians and Mexicans are writing about how they've had American fried chicken three times this week and it was four times too many.

Mike said...

Just say no, Tasty! And, you are welcome.

Kat, if all they have in they're getting served is KFC, then they should complain. Variety, baby.