Aside from my 20 Year High School reunion, for which I need to do some pre-study(it'll be hard to try and sleep with the cheerleaders if I can't remember their names) , the other big event I have this weekend is a half marathon race. In this race, however, for the first time ever I won't be trying to run it as fast as I can. Instead, I have volunteered to be an official pacer, and my job will be to run the course at a specified pace. I'll be holding a sign indicating my pace and I'm supposed to try and support those runners around me who need a little help in reaching their running goal.

This is the job I was born to do.

I'm obsessed with time and my running pace. I intend to do a superb job of running each mile at the predicted pace. Who cares more about wayward seconds than me?

Additionally, I'll need to be supportive, but not in the serious "Oh, you have cancer? How can I help?" kind of way, but rather in the more superficial, "Oh, you need distracting? Watch me fart and run at the same time!" kind of way. I'm very good at the latter.

I'm really looking forward to being part of the race and not just a runner. I'm planning on scripting some entertaining banter and shtick. Everyone enjoys shtick. Plus, I'm sure I'll have great material from the high school reunion and all the cheerleaders I slept with there.