Sunday, August 06, 2006

At some point almost everyone realizes that there's a hole in their life. In some way they feel unfulfilled. I may have even written about these holes before, but this is a topic that bears revisiting.

Some people cram their holes full of religion. Others stuff babies into their holes. My own fulfillment technique consists of inserting large quantities of chocolate and booze into my holes. That's worked pretty well for me. Until today.

Today I discovered that I have a new hole. It's an au pair shaped hole.

I discovered the hole while attending a birthday picnic with Daisy. Other attendees included some acquaintances of ours who have two small children. They recently decided to hire an au pair to help out with various household and childcare duties. Naturally, the most qualified applicant was a smoking hot, busty, 22 year-old woman from Colombia with a penchant for tiny and tight clothing. They brought the au pair with them to the picnic.

I wasn't at the picnic very long before I discovered my au pair hole. Although Daisy doesn't require too much childcare any more, and we do a decent job of staying on top of the housework, I'm pretty sure my life would be immeasurably improved by an au pair.

I'm going to have to figure out a way to make this happen. This could be even more satisfying than the Chillow.

13 comments:

The girl-next-door said...

My neighbor has an au pair too...a flat chested, hairy legged, lesbian chick from Germany. I hope your luck is better than his was...he hoped he'd get some blond with big boobs, but ended up with a sausage cooking feminista.

Mike said...

I think his error was in choosing an au pair from Germany. No offense to Germans, but I don't think hot au pairs are their #1 export.

carey said...

According to Wikpedia, "There are also responsibilities on the shoulders of the au pair."

And here I thought there would just be shoulders on the shoulders of the au pair, closely located to the perky breasts, which I'm pretty sure are a requirement for employment.

Or perhaps you'd prefer your au pair pear-shaped. Well, have fun interviewing.

nrd2 said...

and hank hasn't chimed in wanting a manny?

Mike Duffy said...

I want to read the post about how you convinced "Hank" to go along with filling this particular hole in your life...

Mike said...

Carey, I do like pears, but they're not even my favorite fruit, let alone my favorite au pair shape.

Nrd2 and Mike Duffy, well, technically Hank hasn't actually agreed to this plan. I'm sure, however, that's just because she wasn't at the picnic and didn't get a chance to meet the excellent au pair.

tinyhands said...

Remember when we talked about living vicariously through one another? Yeah, I need you to get a hot au pair.

nrd2 said...

are they called au pairs because of the pair of perkies?

Mike said...

Tiny, your happiness is important to me. I'll do my best.

Nrd2, I think so. "au" must mean "smokin' hot".

zelda1 said...

Because I was a single working mother with two babies real close in age and was slight afraid of daycare, I, too, hired an au pair to tend to my babies, help with the house work, and she even did my shopping. That was the life and then one day, I allowed her to move into my guest bedroom and she even demanded that I lower her pay, because, after all, she said, I was allowing her rent free housing and use of my pool and it was so nice. Then after five years of total loyalty to my children and me, she fell and broke her hip and we cared for her for a year and finally her son came from Washington state and took his mama home with him. We sure missed her, especially the good food she cooked and great way she folded the towels, I still don't do it right. Maybe, you will luck out and get a good one like mine. Oh wait, you wanted a hot au pair, hmmm, well, I doubt Hank will allow that. I mean, she will see through the scam. And that meme, it was you sucker and where it is it, I don't see it, where? YOu can include magazines.

Rrramone said...

Wow, who knew. I have no children and apparently I have an au pair hole too.

Velvet Sacks said...

It's a good thing you're "prepared to give up at any time." I think Hank will nip your "smokin'-hot au pair" dreams in the bud before you spend much time interviewing perky-boobed babes.

Mike said...

Zelda, your au pair story wasn't sexy at all. I may have to ignore your meme tag as punishment.

Rrramone, au pairs can do more than just childcare. They can help with all sorts of...uh...needs.

VS, DON'T JINX ME!