Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sometimes we find strange things in surprising places, like pubes in our keyboards. Generally I chalk that one up to my occasionally-naked work ethic and my frequent shake-your-thang compiler dance. Other times there is simply no reasonable explanation. Like with this:


That's the roof above my living room. That circular object is a very rusted hubcap.

I know trash pops up in weird places in a city, but a hubcap on my roof? The only way onto the roof from my house is out our bedroom windows.

My investigation into this incident began by quizzing Daisy since her room looks over that part of the roof.

"Daisy! How did that hubcap get on the roof?

"I don't know."

"Did you drive the car out on the roof and leave the hubcap there?"

"No."

"Did you?!?!?!"

"No Daddy! I don't even know how to drive! I'm 6! And our car doesn't even have rusted hubcaps!"

"I'll know if you're lying!"

"DAAAAAAAAAAADDY!"

A dead end. Another possible explanation is that maybe our new neighbors hurled the hubcap out their window. Considering how neat and tidy they seem to be, it would be out of place for them to keep something that rusty in their house, let alone start flinging it around like a frisbee. It's very very odd.

Anyway, it would take me a full minute to get out on the roof and retrieve it, so the hubcap is going to stay there for a while. I figure that puts me one busted-toilet-on-the-lawn away from being full-fledged white trash.

Yeeehaw!

17 comments:

Velvet Sacks said...

I was given a new toilet for my birthday last year (yes, we're that kind of family), and the old one sat next to the garbage can for a couple of weeks before my son-in-law found a place to dispose of it. I was scared to death some yahoo was gonna drive up for a quick pit-stop on his way home from work.

gracie said...

This would have to be the funniest blog I've ever come across... thanks for the laughs!!! it's all so true.

Mike said...

VS, I guess I should be thankful that my garbage doesn't encourage defecation.

Gracie, thank you very much, but maybe you should read more blogs.

rareemu said...

Mike, we have video evidence of you placing that rusted cap on your rooftop during that depressing and unbloggable spell you and your family suffered the days surrounding that fraud. Not only is their footage of the act, but prior film of you going to Home Depot and buying the rust-colored spray paint and actually stealing the cap from a car in the lot. You are shameless and should have your blog license permanently revoked.

rareemu said...

Mike, we have video evidence of you placing that rusted cap on your rooftop during that depressing and unbloggable spell you and your family suffered the days surrounding that fraud. Not only is their footage of the act, but prior film of you going to Home Depot and buying the rust-colored spray paint and actually stealing the cap from a car in the lot. You are shameless and should have your blog license permanently revoked.

rareemu said...

oh, GOd....i don't know how to blog or even comment on them; that posted twice and so did "their" for "there"

Mike said...

Rareemu! Well, I COULD remove your duplicate blog comment, but I think it gives us all a useful second chance to reflect upon the importance of correct grammar. We thank you for your inadvertent lesson. Also, your blog could use a little fleshing out.

Siôn said...

I'm looking forward to rareemu "fleshing out" his/her blog. I'd say there's plenty of scope there for a cracker.

Mike said...

Siôn, don't get all excited about rareemu's blog. She's all talk and no type.

Leesa said...

There's something wrong with having a busted toilet on the lawn?

Mike said...

Leesa, you're artsy, so if you had a toilet on your lawn, I'm sure it would look like an artistic sculpture.

Rrramone said...

As mystified as I am by the hubcap, did you say pubes on your keyboard?

Huzzzzzah.

Mike said...

Rrramone, no. I definitely did not mention any pubes on my keyboard. That would be nasty.

Mike Duffy said...

Hey, Mike.

I don't think it's a hubcap. I think it's the lid for a gallon paint can, which was left on the roof the last time the wall visible in the picture was painted.

Despite this tragic misidentification, I am, as always, impressed with your blog.

Mike said...

Hi Mike! Ok, I've gotten corroboration from Hank on the paint can theory. That makes the score:

Mike Duffy: 2
Mike Me: 0

As for how the paint can lid got there, that's still a mystery though. Our house has not been painted in many years and I look at that rooftop several times a week. I guess it could have rolled off of a higher roof (and there are a couple) that I don't often see. We do get some fierce winds.

David said...

Nah, that's two steps. You have to have a rusted out, broken down, with the engine missing, car sitting on cinder blocks out in your yard to be considered white trash.

Mike said...

David, I think that only works in your front yard, and my front yard isn't big enough for a car, so I get a pass on that step.