Thursday, July 20, 2006

I eat 3 Powerbars a week, one before each run. I've been doing this regimen for years. I've probably eaten 750 powerbars.

Mostly I eat the Chocolate flavor, but I've tried them all. It doesn't really matter what labeled flavor is. They all basically taste like ass with sugar. Cookies 'n' Ass, Chocolate Peanut Ass, Cinnamon Apple Ass, Ass 'n' Ass, whatever. I don't eat them because I love the taste (of ass), I eat them because they're supposed to be a pretty good source of fuel for running.

But the running is good, right, Mike? You enjoy the running?

Oh, god, no. Eating the chocolately assy Powerbar is probably the best part of my runs. A friend asked the other day what I think about when I'm running. My answer was basically this, "I mostly spend the whole time contemplating how much I'm hating that particular instant, how tired I am, how hot I am, how pained, or how just plain weary. I distract myself about every 30 seconds by looking at my watch to see how many seconds I have left. I might look at my watch 100 times on a long run. I hate every moment of most runs."

She looked at me like I was an idiot. She suggested that I take up biking, or hiking, or any other form of exercise. I shrugged off all her ideas.

I'm going to run until I can't run any more. It's going pretty well.

15 comments:

Pensive Turtle said...

Ya know Mike, I stumbled upon your blog over a year ago after Googling 'Dean Karnazes'. I had just finished reading his book, and found it to be overwhelmingly inspiring (albeit extremely insane).

Well, it's posts like these that remind me why I keep coming back to yours every day, and fill me with similar awe and admiration.

Tomorrow is my first 10-mile long run. And believe you me - when I begin to tucker out, I'll reflect on your words: "I hate every moment of most runs."

And I'll plug along.

Mike said...

PT, I am going to suggest that if you're looking for more inspiration, perhaps you should read the blog of someone who actually LIKES running.

Good luck on your 10-miler though! Start slow.

Miss Misse said...

That's how I feel in an indoor cycling class. I'm praying to not fall of my bike and collapse in front of the rest of the class, and would never be able to do it on my own without a classful of others to keep up with. Afterwards, when it's all over with and I can breath normally again, is when the rewards come. The adrenaline rush. The 'happy' chemicals in my brain released. Which is what I am addicted to.

Mike said...

I think you can get those same happy chemicals by, say, banging your head against the wall a few times, then stopping. Ahhhhhh, sweet stoppage.

nrd2 said...

i like a good brisk sit.

Mike said...

Sure, a brisk sit is good, but you have to be sure to hydrate with some well-chosen beverages.

nrd2 said...

hmm...think i'll choose champagne!

Painter Beach Girl said...

dont those things ever back you up?

Mike said...

Nrd2, a classic choice.

PBG, Nooooo no no. I am an expert crapper.

zelda1 said...

Oh my, you have just described sex, or at least sex with my spouse. Check the watch, alrighty then, we have four more minutes left, recheck the watch, okay, three and a half mintues left and, then it's three, then two, then one, and then, I free, yes, I'm free. Okay, too much information, sorry.

Mike said...

Zelda1, hmmmm, this bears further discussion. Does Mr. Zelda need some lessons in the love department?

zelda1 said...

No, we're just old with bad knees, bad backs and I ran out of the love hormones about five years ago and his love hormones, well, they old.

Mike said...

At what age can I look forward to unpleasant sex? It's always nice to plan for new blog material.

veni vidi vici said...

Well, I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that once in awhile, my mind pops up a ridiculous combination of words. With the computer nearby, the phrase will get Googled and it's quite interesting to see what sort of thing (if any) results. What brought me here today is the fact that this post is the only known place in the Googleverse to have used the phrase "Chocolate peanut ass".

You should be proud of yourself, because that's a helluva phrase you've got there.

Mike said...

VVV, thank you! That's very exciting news, and I really do mean that unironically, which is kind of odd. Anyway, I'll make my way down to the Googleplex to receive my prize any day now.