Thursday, May 11, 2006

I rode my bike a lot when I was a kid. I rode it to school, to friends' houses, and just to play around. Do you know how many times I broke my head doing that? Zero. I fell off that bike a few times, but I never ever ever broke my head. Structurally speaking, I have a totally unbroken head, despite years of helmetless wheeled activity.

The only kids that wore helmets in those days were the kids in "special education". They had to wear their helmets all day at school. Even though it was a required part of school culture to make fun of the special ed kids, I still felt sorry for them. It must have been a hard life falling on your head all the time.

Today, all kids wear helmets each time they ride some sort of self-propelled wheeled vehicle. Bikes, tricycles, scooters, and roller skates/blades are all deemed to be head smashers. The fact that Daisy has NEVER fallen off her scooter, or was incapable of riding her trike more than 1 mph, was irrelevant. Nevermind that she was more likely to injure herself putting the helmet on than flying off her tricycle. Frankly, Daisy got off easy. Other kids are virtually swaddled in elbow pads, knee pads, and self-esteem pads.

Still, despite the prevalence of the helmeted children today, every once in a while, when I see some kid standing next to a bike and wearing a helmet, I still think, "Look! A special ed kid!"

Meanwhile, I took Daisy to Tae Kwon Do class again today (it's three freakin' times a week!!). I'm constantly astonished by how disobedient and borderline brain-damaged these kids are. Many are incapable of paying attention for even a micro second and others just flop randomly around the room. Granted, some of them are only four, but still, Daisy stands out like a Rhodes Scholar.

At one point the kids were working their way down the room, doing knife-hand chops as they went. One little girl stopped between each knife-hand motion, picked her nose, and ate it. She had a rhythm going.

Between the obsessive-compulsive booger eating, the total inability to pay attention, and the general idiocy, I'm beginning to think that maybe all these kids SHOULD be wearing helmets. Maybe it's just a special ed generation.


Leesa said...

It goes right along with the new generation. We could also play outside after dark. Go trick-or-treating by, you know.

Mike said...

It's true. I think I'll go remove Daisy from her protective wrapper.

dolface said...

i want a self-esteem pad, where do i get one?

also, are the talking captchas new?

Mike said...

Dolface, I'd try

And, yes, I think they are newish. Less than two weeks old. A newborn!

Janelle Renee said...

It's probably a good idea to wear one, but I don't get the same enjoyment I once did riding helmetless on a motorcycle.

Yay for convertibles!

Kids can't ride in the back of pickups anymore, can they? Those were the days.

zelda1 said...

My mom had so many kids, well she would drive down the dirt roads going so fast and all of her ten kids were sitting in the back of the truck. One day, I was sitting on the tail gate with my older sister who was suppose to be holding me and she let go and I rolled down the road about as fast as my mom was driving. Now, I didn't have a helmet, but I did know how to tuck and roll. We were that generation.

Mike said...

jr, no, people can't ride in the back of pickups any more for precisely the reason that Zelda1 gives.

Zelda1, yeah, but look how crazy you turned out!

Anonymous said...

Ride in the nude without helmut nor covered ride. All bets are off... says the crowd! Do it with chocolate chips.

Mike said...

Anon, well said.