First, in what is becoming a semi regular occurrence in this blog, an apology to Pablo.
Pablo, you hear my whining and complaints in person on a regular basis and then you have to read about them all over again in this blog. I apologize for not being an interesting-enough person to avoid repeating myself on a regular basis. At least you can consider yourself lucky that you're not my wife. She hears all my stories about eight times each. I think she could tell the story of my family name (Oh, man, I just realized that I've never told THAT story here. Soon, my pets.) better than I could at this point. Plus, she also has to see me naked. *Shudder* So, be happy about that, Pablo.
Today I'm complaining about doctors.
Hank has been sick this week. Just like last time, she called the advice nurse to see if her condition warranted a trip to the doctor's office. Just like last time, the nurse replied that something was "going around" and that Hank should get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
I can't remember the last time that a doctor was able to actually assist me. Even when I snapped my collarbone, they just shrugged their shoulders (an act I was unable to perform at the time) and said there was nothing they could do. They recommended taking it easy for a couple months.
Don't doctors go to medical school for four years? What on earth are they learning? I'm guessing they cover "rest" in the first...gah...year? Then maybe "fluids" in year two? That leaves two more unexplained years. Maybe they spend that time watching E.R. or Grey's Anatomy to learn all the jargon they'll need in order to sound professional.
"Sexy nurse! 2 CCs of speculum! STAT!"
To be fair, there is a very narrow band of sickness that doctors can treat. I think the total range of sickness goes something like this:
0. Tip top shape
1. Common cold
3. Bacterial infection
4. Somethingosis (e.g. tuberculosis or halitosis)
6. Limb chopped off
Doctors are good at levels 3 and a bit of 4. When antibiotics got invented, that was the golden era of medicine. They've been resting on their laurels ever since. Aside from a few other diseases, like bad breath, they can't do squat. You get sick? You're pretty much on your own, sport. Have some juice. Slowly!
I can't wait to ditch my meat body and get uploaded into a computer. Then, my health will be the capable hands of nerds. Besides, nothing ever goes wrong with computers.