I'm going to be in class next week!
Yes, that's right. Five days from now, I am going to be SMARTER. By Friday, you'll probably be having this conversation with your friends:
You: Hey, isn't that...uh...whatshisface?
You: That guy. He reminds me of that other guy, but different
Friend: I don't know why I'm friends with you.
You: You know! That guy with the blog! Mark, I think his name was. He was prepared to throw up at any time.
Friend: Oh, god. I can't believe you read him. Maybe you could do something more productive with your free time, like club baby harp seals, or crack.
You: I know. Anyway, that guy looks like him, but different somehow.
Friend: Uh huh.
You: Somehow....he looks...SMARTER!
Yes! Thank you! I'll be spending my work hours taking a class in CENSORED FOR YOUR PLEASURE, which will teach me the technical details of how to ALSO CENSORED FOR YOUR PLEASURE. I think we can all agree this will be quite interesting.
On a completely unrelated note, I've been enjoying having this conversation with my daughter.
Me: Well, today's the day. We're going to the Dad Farm. You ready?
Daisy: Yup! Let's go.
Me: All set to pick yourself a new dad?
Daisy: You bet!
Me: Ahhh, all those plump, ripe daddies, hanging from the trees, just ready to be plucked! What kind are you going to get.
Daisy: I'm not sure....
Me: Funny? Tall? Fat? Nice? Blue?
Daisy: Oh, definitely nice.
Me: What? Not funny? You don't want a funny dad?!?!
Daisy: Oh...ok. A LITTLE funny.
Me: That's my girl.