As we grow older and progress through the various stages of adulthood, we take on new responsibilities. Often this takes the form of working a job or being responsible for the care of others. Also, we must mock how young people dress.
This is a time-honored tradition. Each generation must howl with derision or outrage at how the next generation dresses. I'm not much of an outrage guy, so I'm going with derision in this post. Note that I am well aware that this mockery is bi-directional, but given that I still dress like I did in high school, I have decided that I'm immune from such attacks.
First up in the targeting scope are those brands of pants that have the brand name written squarely across the ass. Specifically, I speak of Juicy Couture.
Folks, maybe it's just that I'm more of a breast man than an ass man, but I am unable to do anything other than laugh at the word "JUICY" written across someone's butt cheeks. I'm not exactly sure what kind of juice comes out of an ass, but I'm pretty sure it's unappealing. I could see it saying, "ROUND" or "FIRM" or if they have to go with a culinary metaphor, maybe "SWEET" or "MEATY", but any images of the ass as a juice dispenser are met with nothing but derision.
I fully support people's right to advertise the juiciness of their ass, but I think I'll stick to beer and coffee.
Also, I realize that I'm the 10 millionth person to mock this particular fashion trend, but you gentlemen who like to wear your pants around your ankles, you look like clowns. I understand that this look, like the do-rag, is supposed to portray a gangster-like image of toughness, but when you have to hold up your pants to walk, that's not so tough. You walk like toddlers.
If you're going to hinder your mobility like that, you had better be armed to the freakin' teeth, because I could push you over and then make a very leisurely getaway.
Tomorrow I'll complain about my dentures or perhaps lament the early demise of the punch card.