So, without further ado, here are Swanson's
1) Suggest to your employees that they should eat a LOT of Swanson's Hungry Man dinners.
2) Don't screw stuff up. No one likes a screw-up.
3) Give all your employees laughably small raises that are less than the inflation rate, even the employees who get good reviews. Also give them teensy-tiny bonuses and slowly take away their benefits. Remind them that if they're going to complain about this in their blog, they should find an indirect way to do it.
4) Before big meetings, practice saying "NOT IT!" as quickly as possible.
5) Don't set 5 or more people on fire in a single fiscal quarter.
6) When meeting your employees for the first time, regale them with stories filled with racial slurs. See how many you can put in one sentence! Remind them again to blog this carefully.
7) Consider catering your lunch-time meetings with delicious Swanson's Hungry Man dinners.
8) Never write down important rules.
I'm pretty sure that's all of them.