Wednesday, January 12, 2005

There's an acronym I like called TMI. It stands for Too Much Information. File this entry in that department. If you're not the author of this blog, I encourage you to avert your tender virgin eyes.

It's been a tough couple of days to be my ass. To be honest, it's probably never a treat to be my ass, but more so than usual the last few days. Two issues:

1) I used to do some regular strength training for my lower body to enable myself to run marathons without injury. I haven't done any in several months, so earlier this week, I finally did some exercises. I did a bit o' lunging, a squat or two, and some other random stuff. Apparently I exercised what I believe is technically referred to as the ass-muscle. It has been complaining bitterly ever since. Specifically it hates sitting down, getting up, and walking. Immobility gets no complaints. Yes, a man in San Francisco with a sore ass. Let the witty repartee commence.

2) We make occasional stabs in this household to be sensitive to our environmental impact (Let the Republican vomiting commence). For the most part we're big selfish boors, but if we can throw an extra dollar at the problem and buy the recycled paper towels instead of the brawnier kind, then we will. We've also been buying a new brand of recycled toilet paper that our grocery store is carrying. It's called "Earth First", presumably because good consumers who purchase this brand are putting the Earth before...before what you ask? Well, before your ass, apparently. This stuff is scratchy and not so strong. The end result is that you have to gather a large quantity of this sandpaper-like stuff to wipe your tender ass with. Big thumbs down for "Ass Last" toilet paper


tinyhands said...

I too am sensitive to the subject of TP. I travel with my own roll of Angel Soft in a custom Louis Vuitton case.

Mike said...

So, THAT'S where you get your nickname from.

Tasty said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! Thank you for the laugh. And the unfortunate visual.

Zelda said...

"Earth" should be nowhere near the name of a brand of toilet paper. Consider a bidet.

Mike said...

Tasty Stacey, You think THAT was an unfortunate visual? Geez, I'm glad I didn't actually describe my ass.

Zelda, I don't think I could use a bidet without giggling. Chafing vs giggling: the classic bathroom battle.