Years from now, when my daughter, wife, and I attend our first-of-many family counseling sessions, this may be the first story we tell the therapist. Here's the conversation my five year-old daughter and wife had yesterday:

Daughter: Mom, I have a question about kissing.
Wife: Yes?
Daughter: You know how some people do this (tilts her head slightly to the right) when they kiss?
Wife: Uh...yes.
Daughter: Will you kiss me like that?
Wife: Sure.

The wife then tilts her head to the side and the daughter does the same. Their heads approach each other when suddenly my daughter springs her mouth wide open, her tongue dangerously coiled.

Wife: Aaaaah! (moving back) Sweetie, let's not kiss that way.
Daughter: Why not?
Wife: Well.... um.... where did you see people kiss like that?
Daughter: You and daddy kiss like that.
Wife: Oh... well... that's just for grownups. Only grownups kiss that way.
Daughter: (shaking her head in disbelief) I just don't understand why you won't kiss me that way.

And that's the story of how my wife and daughter nearly french-kissed. Man, if I didn't already get enough hits on this blog from people looking for various types of distasteful porn, the impressive collection of incestuous keywords in this post should pretty much put me over the top