I sleep in the nude. I'm one of those people who gets hot at night (more in the temperature way than the hubba-hubba way, although, sometimes, you know...), so I don't want many blankets and I certainly don't want to wear pajamas. I'd combust with warm jammies on.

When it's time to start the day, most days I'll just throw on my robe and then go wake up the kid. Today was one of those days. So, I'm sitting on her bed and she's flopping around, trying to be cute and avoid getting dressed, when her foot jams into my crotch. This was awkward for me, not because it hurt, but rather because my five year-old daughter's foot was now touching my penis. This is what we in the parenting business refer to as a Parenting Error. It set off this unfortunate conversation:

Daughter: Daddy! You're not wearing any panties!
Me: No, I'm not. I sleep without them.
Daughter: (incredulous) You sleep without panties? Why?!?!
Me: I just do. It's comfortable for me that way.
Daughter: ... Does your penis touch mommy?
Me: (becoming increasingly uncomfortable) Uh, well, um, I'm very still when I sleep. Jesus! It's time to get dressed now.

And that's why I'll be getting dressed as soon as I wake up from now on. I can't speak for my daughter, but I'm scarred for life.