My father, who is in his 70s, is in pretty good health, yet he still calls me every few months with assorted instructions for what to do upon his death. This has been going on for years. Apparently he has some files on his computer that contain important post-death information and he's concerned that I won't be able to get at them. These phone calls are always about some spreadsheets that he has filed away, and backed up, and backed up, and backed up.

At first I thought these files were merely going to be some savings account numbers and what-not, but with all the phone calls over the years, the suspense has been building. Maybe there really is a big secret locked in that PC of his. Maybe he's Batman, or perhaps I'm the long-lost prince of Luxembourg. I could go for that.

Today he called because he was concerned I wouldn't be able to turn on his computer and associated peripherals "if you ever needed to". That's his code for "when I die." I restrained myself from reminding him that I've been working with computers for nearly 25 years. After all, you don't want to piss off Batman. I am, however, pretty good at turning computers on and off. It's one of my main debugging techniques.

Dad, I promise I'll get to those files, even if I have to use a sledgehammer. Don't die for a long time though.