We leave for vacation bright spanking early tomorrow morning. This is the first vacation we've attempted in the child-era that doesn't involve visiting grandparents or Disney. It's a big girl vacation!

Of course, as usual, forces are conspiring to make this vacation as unpleasant as possible. My wife's work is kicking in with a vengeance, as is my daughter's asthma. Although my wife always lobbies hard for these vacations, and does most of the planning, she usually tries to sabotage them at the last minute. I guess she's teaching the kid to follow in her footsteps.

Typically my wife will become ill right before a trip, or if that tactic fails, she'll do something like leave her wallet at home (back before airport security required your driver's license every 13 seconds). She successfully pulled off the wallet trick twice. She's crafty, that one.

So, it is with baited breath that I await tomorrow's surprise disaster. Will her head implode? Will my daughter develop some sort of explosive bowel syndrome? Perhaps my wife will don a burka and refer to the security guards as infidels. Ahh, it's mysteries like this that keep the love alive in our relationship.

I'm so curious, I can hardly wait. Back in a week.