Saturday night the wife and I hosted our monthly poker game. Although I fared poorly during the Dealer's Choice round, I came out on top during our first ever Texas Hold 'em tournament. In honor of the B-List celebrity power of Celebrity Poker Showdown, I suggested that we each adopt a B-List celebrity persona. Despite my essentially non-existant performance of Michael Ian Black, the idea didn't really catch fire. Regardless, I'm happy to report that the fake Michael Ian Black did as well as the real one. Take that, Norm MacDonald!

On Sunday evening the family and I attended a 25th Anniversary party at a local restaurant. We were, apparently, some of the only attendees to forget that this was a theme party. The theme was to dress as though it were 1979 (the year the couple met). Theoretically, since I was an unfashionable eleven year-old in 1979, I should have been wearing floods, sneakers, and a lame shirt, maybe a velour one (readers should avoid looking for a joke here about how that's the way that I still dress. Nothing to see here, move along, please). Inexplicably, I chose Sunday evening to dress more corporate than I ever do. I wore some unwrinklable blue slacks, and a restrained Oxford-ish shirt. It would be safe to say that at this highly-gay-attended event, I was not the grooviest guy there.

Monday was a holiday (Cinco de July), so the family went to the Giants game. Bonds, as usual, refused to play in a game that I attended. I don't know why he hates me. It's weird. Anyway, the Giants got whupped by the lowly Colorado Rockies. The Giants losing to the Rockies here at home is kind of like....well, it's like.....it's like the simile that got away. It's just embarrassing when it happens.

On Tuesday morning, I got up at 5am for the first session of a "bootcamp" style exercise program. I'm normally not this much of a masochist, but I'm committed to running a 3:15 marathon this year and I'm hoping that some strength training will help. I'm sure lots of funny stuff happened during that hour and fifteen minutes of exercises, but my brain never really engaged. It was really super early.

Tonight, one of the neighborhood kids came over to play with my daughter. The neighborhood kid (let's call her NK) is more of a babysitter than a friend to my daughter, but they get along well My daughter adores her. At some point they were going through my daughter's dolls. NK said, "None of these dolls can talk or pee or anything. You need to upgrade them". My daughter immediately mumbled to herself, "I need to upgrade these dolls." She sounded like me at this computer.

NK soon figured out that one of these dolls could pee. It had all the right parts. We fed it with an eye dropper and then got ready to watch the exciting peeing action. My daughter was delirious with anticipation, both frightened and eager to see this dribble of liquid come out of her doll. I'm happy to report that dolly did not disappoint. They played this game several times, even holding the doll over the toilet. Kids are weird.