My daughter's soccer season ended this last weekend. The last game of the season was a good one, a virtual clip-reel of soccer hijinx. It featured the following highlights:

- One player on the opposing team aimlessly strolled about the field, clutching her stuffed owl. I liked her. She made my kid look like Pele. Go Owly!

- We aren't allowed to keep score in these games, but if one were to have kept score, hypothetically speaking, they would have hypothetically noticed that we kicked their four-year-old asses.

- My daughter did her usual soccer shtick. She kind of just orbited the soccer activity, only springing into action when the other team was driving for the goal. Then, she'd plant herself in the goal in a statue-like imitation of a goalie. Occasionally, she'd actually defend the goal. Usually not. Mostly what she did during the game was run her mouth. "Coach! I kicked the ball! Coach, do you see my dad over there? Yay! Go team! Coach, my mom brought snacks today. Popcorn! Yay! Go team! Coach, is it snack time? Wooo! Soccer! Coach, there's a clover on the field! Yay clovers!!"

Her mouth gets way more exercise than her legs. Yay mouth!

Afterwards, the team had their end-of-the-season pizza party. Every kid on the team got a medal. And a hug.